a bag of bare bones

Today i let my secret out 
I feel so insecure, like another part of me exposed to the world
How can I move on and forget?
Why am i so careless…
Although i don’t mind you knowing, but i don’t ever want you to know that I’m hurting myself
And I’ve been hiding all those for 3 or 4 years
I’m truly sorry


Only run with those you can trust 

Maybe you thought i did not like certain stuff or did not enjoy my day because my face did not show..
but to be honest, it was the best 20th ever, i enjoyed it and loved every second of it ❤ i wish it could be longer…
I love how you held my hands and walked through the crowd… At that moment, it felt like i was invincible,
like I was a little gem, so precious and protected, no one could hurt me, not even a bullet 🙂
I love how you try to make every moment perfect and go all frustrated when you did not succeed in your surprises,
and all i did was to annoy you further with your failed surprises and blame you for it 😀
I love how you death stared at the guys who looked at me, you looked so unhappy and fierce and you’ll scold them even if its just for a glance 🙂 I love it when you smile, you’ll accidentally wink, i find it super duper attractive and cute (but you always say you didn’t everytime i tell you that) I love how you rmb everything, and its really everything, that i said..
Its not about the gifts and pressies, its about you (YES, I LOVED YOUR GIFTS TOO ❤ )
But your presence is all i need, i just want to be in your embrace:)

They say when you’re drunk, you tend to reveal your true self
and there i am, climbing up the stairs with all my strength and when i found you lying there, i just kissed you…
It seemed like all i want was to devour you (haha)
You did not really react, it seemed like you were uncomfortable… or was i too drunk to rmb?
I’m sorry if you felt that way.. but all i want was to let you know how I feel about you..
I’m listening to your recording of Flightless Bird, American Mouth right now (hehe i know you’ll go all uneasy)
but i realized i really miss you

I find myself even closer to you every time i tried to avoid you.. Trying step by step, to not reply, to not call, to not look at our photos together but its all useless, i could not forget
M told me to forget you, to let you go once and for all
Be ruthless, say goodbye, hurt you like you hurt me, have my revenge
But i wasn’t that kind of girl
I could not
I’m vulnerable
I’m weak
As i wrote this, my playlist shuffled to ‘I Almost Do’
it was not about us, but its still painful to hear 😥

i think i have not showed this side to you since we were trying to forget each other, but here you go
all my inner feelings and emotions written in this post
(You asked me to write and i really did 🙂 )
Yes, i admit idk what i should do now
Be all dependent on you
Or be independent…
but i’ll need to forget you
And to forget, i’ll need to avoid…
But i don’t want to.. 😥
Like how the song plays, “i wished i could run to you, and i hope you know that every time i don’t, i almost do..”



I searched for your scent on my blankie and my bed you left a day ago because
I still love you


I’m afraid i’ll lose you  
You are all that i wanted and I gave you everything that I could, 
but tonight, let me cry 
because i just want the only thing you could not give… which is forever. 

im not gonna lie 
i miss you 


Thats my current favourite sign! it looks so happy like 😀 !!
because of school and work, my blog’s going dead in 5, 4, 3, 2……

body clock is totally screwed 
Active at night, tired by day 
went to swim in the evening, and im quite blind without my specs, 300 plus degrees 
i cannot spot a person from far and when i see the person, i cant discern their age as well hahaha 
practically “blind” without my contacts! 

got this sudden urge to shop alot!! 
i need to get my toms, pumps, dresses and macbook cover!! 
Everything on pinterest makes me wanna spend and spend
but at the same time, i dont want to use up my pay for all these things hahaha 

i kinda miss my straight hair cos i had them for about 6 years?! 

kk, back to my drama ^^ 
tml’s checklist:
Paint my nails 
Double check the uni applications 
Buy my stuff online!!!! YAY 


on a side note, why am i hardworking?!?!
making myself so tired everyday
im not really in need of money too 

secretly stalking you but actually i cant find you #sad I always thought if i could just said hi, how would everything changed

im quite neutral for work…
im at dfs selling absolut vodka
hate the fact that i had to pin up my fringe
i cant escape the curse from sch until now!!! UGH 
this are after work shots 🙂

i feel that my confidence’s back when i let my fringe down, hahah but i think its just a habit and im not used to people seeing my full bare face
its like saying, NAH, SEE my face, i showed you everything, now see all my flaws magnified without needing a magnifier 
but whatevr work’s work and i must be professional!! haha


i rmb you were standing beside me when we were late and i felt that my heart beat super duper fast. You were scolded alone and i ran away cos i felt that i was super unkempt that day, rushing and everything’s just not right like a really bad day… #eyecandy