by whilosophy

It has been a couple of weeks and i still feel like i haven played enough yet
I just feel my life has been in this constant flux of ups and downs and i haven stop yet. Once I do stop to pause and take a look, I’ll lose track of some of the things, lose track of time especially.
It has been hard and relaxing at the same time i seriously dont know why too?
😦 🙂 😦 🙂 😦 🙂
Just this mixed of emotions every single day
the  more you try to stop it, the more it comes
Sucks to be super emotional at random things
SIGH but life.

Hmmm, have been thinking about it lately.
i dont know how to deal with this anymore hahaha i think you too?
let things flow, you’d always say, but are things gonna flow the way you want it to be?
can we just let time settle this? Let things flow? or would we be tempted to take control?
Tbh, i still feel a little scarred, but arent we all vulnerable and fragile all the time? I guess its alright to feel that way
I know, whatever that we have been through… it was real
Though sometimes i wished it wasnt hahahaha kidding.
The memories that remind me of us, becomes sweeter and sweeter by the day
Im starting to forget those unhappy ones and replacing them with the happy moments? And im not even doing it on purpose, my brain just functions that way
I dont like it that way though, those unhappy moments are v impt to me too, they made me know you more and understand you better
I hated you just because I think Ill lose you if i dont lose you anymore (why am i so clingy anyway??!!) it reminds me of you everyday though somedays less than the others but you’re still on my mind basically everyday? haha idk why too
I admit certain things do remind me of you and specifically you (be it good or bad haha)
I guess my blog was talking about you for my whole first year of uni lol.
how can I ever forget? why would i forget things too i have a damn good memory HA HA HA
Have i changed? Did i grow up? hahaha i dont know yet
Can we be friends again? Idk too

Hope, things will be fine that way
hope, you’ll be happy
hope, I’ll not be just one of your girls
Hope that theres no hard feelings but HAHAHA who am i kidding
its impossible not to have
hahaha after archi, kerning has been an essential part of my life
i cant stop kerning
its getting a little bit obsessive that i kern every single thing?! (see the friends with the beaut individual manual spacing heh)

three words from frozen <33333333
but its extremely useful in my everyday life
We humans, just have to accept fate, accept life, hahaha dont expect so much? Because its all fated. hahaha but of course, its okay to feel sad I think………( which i always do)
Crying has helped me so much along the way HAHA love. crying sometimes 🙂 Its funny how we are so held up by certain stuff when the solution is just to be brave and accept the consequences of your actions
its seriously fine to live with regrets I feel
I mean what is a life without them? I guess we have to feel guilty and regretful sometimes right? to truly understand what it feels like haha
Gosh, i seriously dont know what my life philosophy is bringing me to??! HAHA
like i allow myself to be MAX sad and MAX happy most of the time but im loving it though haha and i’d tell myself that its fine to feel that way

Things that werent meant to be, will not be, no matter how hard you try 🙂
Lets not be so forceful and force your way through things most of the time but i guess i really do need to apologise, its my fault but not really, because life has a way of unravelling itself with time? so we’ll see how this goes? If its a no, then its alright hahaha (or is it? did i purposely made it that way so that life will be easier for myself? hmmm )
but the truth is, i cant accept the mutual friends thing, like people start talking about talking as if they know them?! you know?! How annoying is that?
Judgemental bitches. (woah, that escalated quickly ehehehehehehe)
but you will never know what people will be saying behind their backs and you’d always imagine the worst of what they’ll say
Prolly nth much lololol. Lets just hope that whatever they’ll say, whatever those mean eyes meant, they all meant, “Omg, i love her dress today, oh my her style, OH MY. SHES BEAUTIFUL~” hahahaha
OH GOD i miss blogging so much

Its perfectly fine not to know what you want in life right?
im 22 alr gosh, cant believe it, i lived through life?

2 0 1 5 i miss you alr
i miss the late night car rides
i miss the wind blowing on my face, blowing away all stress and worries
i miss how work had me crumbling and dying but still have that determination and motivation to continue (guess this will continue all my life hahah)
i miss the things i missed, the friends meet up, the birthday parties
i miss the missed opportunities and the blessings in disguise lol

guess ill just continue to live life like that
the way i want it