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but it flew away from her reach, so she ran away in her sleep

Month: June, 2014

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If there was nothing in this world to worry about, 
Would you want the world world to know of our status?
Would you feel ashamed of me? 
I hope there will be parts of me that you’ll be proud of 

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Life?

Its the first time in my life i felt odd
Like i don’t even want to talk to anyone (except you, i miss you :* ) 
I don’t bother to meet up with my friends anymore 
I dont facebook, so i have no idea what they are doing
In any case, i feel that it is also good for me 
To have my time alone
To do stuff alone and to have some privacy 
In the past, i lived for my friends, going out ultimately to feel… less lonely (but its also fun) 
But now i feel that I live for myself 
it feels like independence and freedom  
I have me time, to rejuvenate, to shop on my own, to get a hair cut;to travel alone
I think i’ll get tired of it soon, and i’ll be out there having fun again 
But for now, i appreciate the little peace I have 🙂 

I can feel that mummy is so happy these few days cause she found her sister in me again :’) 
She, without my consent, signed up for massages and facials and book movie tix just for the both of us
Without my dad or any kind of interruptions, just the two of us 
We’ll eat snacks and proper meals at weird timings and go on shopping trips and snack again 
🙂
I kinda like the fact that i still can hold my mum’s hand, hooking her arms, interlocking our fingers or holding our hands palm to palm 🙂
And i will want to hold them forever 

For the first time

She’s all laid up in bed with a broken heart

Fallen to your Sunlight

Im sick…
I’m diagnosed with overwhelming separation anxiety 😦  
😦 
Why do you want to tear me apart and fix me all back in 24 hours…
How did you do that?!
I guess i just cared enough to overlook the unhappiness btw us 
Im still angry btw (hmph)
you have to do something to win me back again ah….
but the loving feeling exceeds the anger now – for the time being ❤
They say love begins when the excitement of love starts to fade: the stress of life sets in, the butterflies disappears and everything becomes a chore. And after knowing the worst parts of both people, if you still want that person by your side, it means you’re good at love…
But I realised I’ve got everything upside down… 
After knowing all of each other’s bad parts and even with the stress setting in, the butterflies in my tummy continues to accumulate and it isnt a chore to see you in fact it became one of the things i look forward everyday and it motivates me 🙂
And I am still excited to love you 
What about you?

Glitter in the air

The more time you spend with me, the more you know me better
And the more parts of me you uncover..
You’ll find out how obsessed I am with certain things and how that slowly defines me as a person
Those little parts of me screams imperfection and I am afraid to let people in,
Afraid others will be turned off by it and to me, it is unlikely for someone to love me thoroughly to the point that I think its impossible
yet you called me sugar
and I’ll call you mine

Screwed

cant seem to be myself these days
Im so harsh on myself, i feel that i might be torturing myself…
i have no mood to even buy new clothes or to do anything
Im starting to dislike running and working out(which is v v v v bad 😦 ) 
i have no motivation to drum too… 
I just wanna come home evryday to sleep or to call you
Might it be your absence that makes nothing right and everything wrong? 

Would you believe me if i say I will go anywhere for you?

Friday

Its 11.53pm
It feels early and i dont feel like sleeping yet
I’ve got too little time for myself
The only time i can focus and concentrate on myself is when im blogging
Sometimes i just want to escape from all the things, the social media and… the whole world.
Can i stop replying on whatsapp? Can i stop facebook from giving me notifications?
Is it only me? That wants to delete their facebook acc??! it’s a complete recollection of my own past that i dont want to rmb.
The only place where i can truly be myself is here and twitter of course 🙂

People at work are extremely nice people 🙂
I learnt a very important lesson: To be neutral and humble at all times
which i failed to do so today when i said i do not like my boss’s design in his face…………………………
I wished i could have helped more, and learn more skills.
but another part of me thought, why rush?
Right?
So im taking things easy 🙂 and one step at a time 🙂
Everything happens for a reason and it will be better at the end of the day 🙂
and… they should really STOP the clubbing and drinking talks, cos it tempts me to go clubbing and drinking, for real 😦 Next wed? heh
I think im a little bit alcoholic?? Then i imagined mel giving me that face, saying NAIVE hahaha

I’m sitting next to mewtwo and staring at my cajon thinking of you 🙂 why are you so nice to me 🙂
You’re as sweet as honey(like you always called yourself hehe)
I kept thinking what if i am the person in the book(i haven finish reading in like 137641374 years), she loses her memory every time she goes to sleep, and when she wakes up, her hubby will be there for her, to calm her down and comfort her and say its alright to be sleeping beside a complete stranger. to face a totally unfamiliar world everyday.
Then i thought, i think you would do the same too 🙂
That’s how much i trust you

D

I think of you when i eat your favorite food
I think of you when I’m helping my sister cut hearts (do you rmb? you blamed me for being inefficient and slowwww then you stole all the hearts and helped me cut in the end hehehe)
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I think of you so often that im starting to feel a little guilty about myself… Am i too dependent? or i choose to be dependent on you?
I re-read all your letters and listen to your recordings (hehe) on the train because i miss you. I want to feel your presence and know that you’re still here for me 🙂 and never left. I miss your smell on my blankie that i’ll hold on tightly to and the way it tries to convey “I’ll protect you”
I wanna start blogging again not because you asked me to, but because i feel nice reading my past posts… They really reflect how i feel in the past…
I wanna know in the next few years, am i still the same? Am i still intrigued by small little cute things? Or am i still extremely kiddy?
And in a few years time, i’ll read this post again and see how madly i fell in love with someone
I just want to be home, by your side everyday 🙂
This is for you baby ❤
Since you’ve been reading my blog everyday hehehe

Today i let my secret out 
I feel so insecure, like another part of me exposed to the world
How can I move on and forget?
Why am i so careless…
Although i don’t mind you knowing, but i don’t ever want you to know that I’m hurting myself
And I’ve been hiding all those for 3 or 4 years
I’m truly sorry
 

I fight it but it’s stronger than me